Family roles and narcissism

via Narcissistic Parents — Blog of a Mad Black Woman

I HAD to reblog this when I saw it. This is exactly what is happening with Harley! She is becoming more and more like her mother. It’s so heartbreaking to watch. She talks to Sebastian like her mother talks to him, she yells at him, even though he is the parent and she is twelve years old. She is dismissive of the feelings of everyone else around her, in the exact same way her mom is. She will be charming and manipulative if she wants something from you but will show her true colors eventually – especially if she does not get what she want.

As I mentioned the other day, she called us after she had moved, demanding to know where her birthday presents were, and then telling Sebastian he hadn’t tried hard enough to find her address – never mind that he had been asking Cruella and Harley and they both refused to even tell him what STATE they were in. In Harley’s mind, which has been twisted by being raised by a narcissist, she shouldn’t have to tell her father her address – if he loved her he would’ve found it and sent her presents. He’s just lazy or stupid for not using “the app that you put in someone’s name and it gives you their address.” Which I’m fairly certain there’s no app that you can put in a (then) 11 year old girl’s name into and get her address, what would it be called “Pedophile helper”?!?!?

I don’t know a lot about family roles (scapegoat, golden child) but I want to read and learn more about them. I know for sure Harley is the golden child and also the conformer, and Bruce is the scapegoat, but I don’t know a lot of other stuff about it. One thing I do know though, is that if Harley continues to become more and more self-centered and narcissistic, she will probably start prioritizing herself over her mom and THAT will be a huge deal for Cruella. Then we will end up with an angry, narcissistic, out of control 16 year old that hates us living in our house, my worst nightmare!! 😦

 

Welcome to my blog!

Autumn 2016 – Hi, I’m Stephanie, and I’m not your average evil stepmom. When I began this blog, I needed an anonymous way to express my feelings about my relationship with my boyfriend’s children.

Now, several years later, I need a place to vent about what it’s like to “coparent” with someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder and probably Borderline Personality Disorder as well. Basically the most toxic, dysfunctional, selfish human being I have ever had the misfortune of coming into contact with. There are lots of great resources out there for people who are divorcing a narcissist and/or have children with one, but 99.9% of those are women divorcing NPD men. In my case, the ex-wife of my now husband has NPD and they have two children together. A lot has changed over the past few years, but what has stayed the same is that his ex-wife is a pathological liar who cares nothing for anyone but herself. I hope that this blog can help support other people who are trying to co-parent with a narcissist.

I hope that this will become a place where we can all talk frankly about our fears, our hopes, our victories, and our mistakes. Not just me but you too. Please comment and interact if any of this resonates with you! If you would like to learn more about me please visit the About page. If this is your first time here, that’s a good place to start. Thanks for reading! ❤