Fed up after the last round of insane attacks directed at Sebastian and myself (most done via the “anonymous” blog but several done via phone calls with Sebastian and Bruce as well) I decided that I absolutely had to figure out what the f*** Sebastian’s ex-wife has. Have I given her a pseudonym yet? I think I’ll just call her “Cruella”. I know a little bit about psychology but I could not for the life of me fit this woman into a diagnosis. She met some of the requirements for something like Schizophrenia but as far as I know she’s never had hallucinations. She could very well have a personality disorder but those don’t usually cause a complete disconnect with reality, according to what I’ve read. Her mother was diagnosed with “Multiple Personality Disorder” when Cruella was a child, even though doctors now widely believe that people don’t actually have different personalities that are unaware of the actions of the other like you’ve seen in the movies. Honestly, Cruella sometimes seems like she has multiple personalities.
Finally, absolutely stumped, I googled “How to deal with someone who is not in touch with reality” and discovered “Delusional Disorder.” I had never heard of it before but it matches up perfectly with her being convinced people said and did things they never said or did and how she rewrites history as she sees fit (sometimes Sebastian “abandoned” her – her term – and other times she left him because he was abusive. It can’t be both ways!!!!) Literally every time I have had contact with the woman she thinks I have said something to her that I did not say. Last time it was completely innocuous, she thought I said “I have to go” before exiting Sebastian’s apartment but actually I just left. All I said to her that day was “hi”, “no problem” and “drive safely.” It’s not a big deal that she thinks that I said that, it’s just an illustration that the woman is batshit crazy. She honestly believes things happened that have NEVER happened, that’s just one tiny example. Here’s what PsychCentral says about Delusional Disorder [Including relevant parts, for the full description please visit PsychCentral]:
Delusional disorder is characterized by the presence of either bizarre or non-bizarre delusions which have persisted for at least one month. Non-bizarre delusions typically are beliefs of something occurring in a person’s life which is not out of the realm of possibility. For example, the person may believe their significant other is cheating on them, that someone close to them is about to die, a friend is really a government agent, etc. All of these situations could be true or possible, but the person suffering from this disorder knows them not to be (e.g., through fact-checking, third-person confirmation, etc.). Delusions are deemed bizarre if they are clearly implausible, not understandable, and not derived from ordinary life experiences (e.g., an individual’s belief that a stranger has removed his or her internal organs and replaced them with someone else’s organs without leaving any wounds or scars)…
People who have this disorder generally don’t experience a marked impairment in their daily functioning in a social, occupational or other important setting. Outward behavior is not noticeably bizarre or objectively characterized as out-of-the-ordinary...
Specific Diagnostic Criteria
1. Delusions lasting for at least 1 month’s duration.
2. Criterion A for Schizophrenia has never been met. (2 or more of the following: delusions, hallucinations, disorganized speech/incoherence, grossly disorganized or catatonic behavior, affective flattening)
3. Apart from the impact of the delusion(s) or its ramifications, functioning is not markedly impaired and behavior is not obviously odd or bizarre.
4. If mood episodes have occurred concurrently with delusions, their total duration has been brief relative to the duration of the delusional periods.
5. The disturbance is not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, a medication) or a general medical condition.
Specify type (the following types are assigned based on the predominant delusional theme):
• Persecutory Type: delusions that the person (or someone to whom the person is close) is being malevolently treated in some way
• Somatic Type: delusions that the person has some physical defect or general medical condition
• Mixed Type: delusions characteristic of more than one of the above types but no one theme predominates”
Depending upon whether or not Cruella actually believes she has cancer (which no one can really say, it could just as easily be a flat-out manipulative lie as it could be a delusion) she definitely fits with Persecutory Type Delusional Disorder or Mixed type for both Persecutory and Somatic if she thinks she has cancer.
It’s such a relief to know what is wrong with her. We all know she is crazy, even Bruce is very aware that she is crazy; hell even some of her siblings have contacted Sebastian to say “she is really crazy and messed up and needs help” but it’s nice to know that what she has is something that is a legitimate, diagnosable illness.
I think it helps a lot now that Cruella and Sebastian are divorced. I think that he and the kids didn’t realize just how sick and in need of help she was until they had some distance. Now there are a lot more people to verify “whoa this behavior is really scary and not the norm!” She’s so invested in Sebastian being the only one that had a problem, as though any relationship ends because of just one person. As though it’s one or the other, like if he has issues it proves she’s not batshit crazy when really both of those things can be true! I am glad that more people around are reminding Bruce and Sebastian, and hopefully some around Harley will begin noticing too, that Cruella and reality just don’t coexist. I’m ready for this whole latest custody saga to be over. Even though Bruce is with Sebastian, has been here for 2 months, has moved all his things here and they’ve moved to a larger place, a judge still has to officially give custody to Sebastian. Even though I know it’s a necessary evil at times, I get so tired of hearing her name and talking about her and thinking about her. Her angry bitter negativity is absolutely toxic. I’m not surprised that Sebastian decided there’s no way he could stay sober (if I haven’t mentioned, he’s a recovering alcoholic) and be with her. The woman is truly rotten inside. While I do feel sorry for her clearly having a very serious mental illness, she’s also just a mean abusive person in addition to being sick. I’m so glad Sebastian and Bruce escaped, I just hope one day we can get Harley out, if it’s not already too late for her. 😦