Update, fall 2016

Much has happened since my last post, which was supposed to be published in July 2015. I want to give as much info as possible before I start getting into details because a LOT has changed!

  • Bruce has not seen or talked to Cruella in almost a year, since she sent him a letter that was supposed to be an apology but spent about eight pages saying in a lot of different ways that she “has hated him since the time he was two years old because he loved his father and she hated his father so much that she couldn’t love Bruce if he loved Sebastian.” I’ve read and heard about some pretty awful stuff but to tell your child you hate them and have pretty much all their life is a new low. It’s right down there with lying and telling your child you have cancer when you don’t I guess.
  • Since we are now married, Sebastian, Bruce and I all live together in a new house. In spite of the drama, most of the control Cruella has over us only comes in the form of worrying about Bruce or when I get angry because of how she is hurting Bruce and/or Sebastian.
  • We have spent over $12,000 in legal fees and lawyer bills to do absolutely nothing and nothing has changed really. Sebastian has full physical custody of Bruce and Cruella has full physical custody of Harley, and they still both have joint legal custody.
  • Cruella moved for the THIRD time in three years, putting Harley in yet another school/city/state. Only this time, Cruella decided to pretend she had not moved and told Harley to lie to Sebastian. A lot of time, heartache, and expense went into finding where they are now, which turns out to be 2 hours away. She had to move back to her hometown and in with her parents.
  • Cruella has made it a point to let me know she is still cyber-stalking me, classic narcissistic abuse, she “likes” things I post on Pinterest so I can see that she is looking at my stuff. It makes me very happy I made this blog anonymous. However, her being only 2 hours away worries me that the stalking might escalate to physical, in-person stalking. She also told Harley to mention a trip we recently took that I documented on Instagram, so that we know she also monitors my instagram. I refuse to be driven off social media however, so I’ve started posting things on a delay in case she tries to find us based on those posts. Sort of like celebrities have to do!
  • Cruella hacked into Sebastian’s email and then blamed it on Harley. Luckily no damage was done.
  • Harley has been lying to Sebastian pretty much non-stop. It’s hard to tell what her mother is telling her to say or do and what she comes up with on her own. She is still a kid, but I’m sure that seeing the narcissistic behavior is teaching Harley that it’s “normal” to act the way her mother acts. She has told Bruce she thinks it is “stupid” that he doesn’t want to see their mom. She told her dad that he didn’t try hard enough to find her address because when they moved and refused to say where they were, he could have just gotten an app that you put in someone’s name and it gives you their address. So it was his fault he couldn’t find her, not her mom’s fault for refusing to say where they were or her fault for lying and saying they hadn’t moved. Typical narcissistic behavior which is really scary coming from a kid.

I know it breaks Sebastian’s heart to know that his daughter might grow up to be a narcissist just like her mom, because she doesn’t know any other way to be. As you can imagine, Cruella’s family is pretty sick too, so Harley isn’t getting any other positive behavior to mirror even though they’re living with other people. I’ll be talking about some of this stuff in more detail, I just wanted to give an update since so much time had passed.

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One thought on “Update, fall 2016

  1. Pingback: Family roles and narcissism | Co-parenting with a Narcissist

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